I walked up Stone Mountain yesterday with a friend. I’ve been up to the top many times, but I’m not sure I’ve gone beyond reaching the top. I don’t even think I have ever been in the building up there. Perhaps I had been inside the first time I went to Stone Mountain six years ago, but I’m not sure. My friend and I went towards the building and stepped onto the balcony. We were looking out over that side of the mountain when I saw a woman I had seen earlier. She was coming from behind the building in between two fences. It didn’t even dawn on me that not only you could go back there, but to even go there. Once I saw her I wanted to go in that area. I had realized that area wasn’t fenced off and I had never been there. There are many areas that are fenced off. Some that are closer to the edge and some that are protecting certain types of plant life. But there are also many areas that are not blocked off.
I wanted to go where these two fences did not connect or block. There was a path in between them. My friend did not want to go there. She followed me a ways, but stood off in the distance watching me from a ways off. I walked up close to the fence and turned towards the way I wanted to go. This fence wasn’t near the edge and I wasn’t crossing the fence or breaking any rules but she stood watching me from the distance. I wanted to go forward with her. I did not want to leave her or go alone. I saw her hesitation and holding back. I called her towards me saying it was okay. When I glanced back at her I saw pieces of myself and things I have done in the past. I saw places I had been nervous whether it was because of safety or because I felt like the “rules” said we can’t. I remembered the feeling of holding back. I wasn’t sure of her reasons of holding back, but it appeared to me like she was afraid. It appeared to me that she was afraid because of rules. To me there was nothing scary about what was physically going on. We were not near the outer fence and even the outer fence was not anywhere near the edge.
I finally got her to come closer to me and we were disagreeing on whether to go on or not. I conceded saying, “well, I can come back another time by myself so I will just do it then.” But she didn’t want to be left out, she wanted to go with me even though she was afraid to go. Right about then a man walked past us and headed the direction I wanted to go. Seeing him she felt more confident and safe to go so we headed behind him. Someone else was going before us. We walked by those two fences, but then my friend held back again. The man quickly disappeared from our view as he followed the outer fence. I walked down the rock towards that outer fence. She stood at a distance. I waved her towards me a couple of times, urging her to come near. She got a little closer, but overall stayed pretty far away from the fence. We did go on a bit further but she stayed higher up on the rock while I walked near the outer fence.
I want to move forward with Him. Following His lead.